12 Sep Mom in the Mirror
A Moment of Honesty
I’m all about being transparent and can’t see myself going back to the hidden version of me.
I find so much more freedom in being as honest as possible, so let me begin by telling you the truth about last week.
Last week, my son struggled.
Well.. truth be told, each of us struggled at any given moment. Since adding an additional life to our family mix, we’ve all been figuring things out.
So last week, my son’s moments just seemed to be more frequent than the rest of ours.
The phrase is usually “getting on my nerves” but in this case he was getting on so much more than that.
I hope that doesn’t sound too harsh. I’m just being as honest as possible. He carried with him this negative energy that seemed to permeate the room every time he entered. He had this spirit of complaining that in the words of Kendrick Lamar, “killed my vibe”. And let’s not mention his heart of disobedience.
It got so bad I pretty much shut down and let my husband deal with him.
Thank God for being able to tap out.
It was in one of my moments of tapping out that I also had a come to Jesus moment.
I’m a firm believer in parenting with God, so I continued to pray. What better person to get advice from, than our creator and Heavenly Father. He knows my children better than I do anyway.
It was in this moment that a mirror was held to my heart. I realized that yes, my son had plank in his eye, but so did the mom in the mirror.
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. ~ Matthew 7: 5
And perhaps I wasn’t getting through to his heart, because of the issues of my own heart. I knew God was trying to teach me something from this, and it wasn’t until I tapped out that I was finally ready to listen and receive it.
A Clear Message
Perhaps more than my son, I too was struggling. This was our first week back to more scheduled homeschooling. Since having a baby, it was my first week back with VIPKID; teaching English to children in China (I’ll do a separate post on this soon). I was also preparing to return to my role as children’s ministry lead.
All of this at once meant less sleep for me and less patience with my family. Because my husband and I were so sleep deprived, it meant our downward spiral into higher tolerances continued. With higher tolerances comes a greater potential for an increase in negative behaviors.
I was weak and needed Jesus to be my strength.
With the blinders removed, I could now see that if I wanted things to get better, this mom had to make some changes. Changes that would begin with me.
1. I (along with my husband of course) would need to get back to lower tolerances and consistency.
2. Get as much rest as possible.
3. Make sure I do better with following through with my oldest two children.
4. Through Christ, I would need to bear the fruit of the spirit.
5. Stop taking things personally and teach to my sons heart.
Mom in the Mirror
I was so stuck on my son needing to change, that I couldn’t see my own fault. I was so caught up on his outward behaviors, that I wasn’t reaching his heart.
Many times our children’s behaviors are so in-your-face that we overlook our own conduct and heart. We don’t stop long enough to take a look in the mirror.
“Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; Try my mind and my heart.”
~ Psalms 26:2
Adding a new baby to our family means that all of us have to be a little more patient and extend a little more grace towards one another. My children will be more likely to do this, as I model it for them.
In the words of the late Michael Jackson,
“If you want to make your home a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change”. (Words adopted from Man in the Mirror)
I’m holding my children accountable, while looking at the Mom in the Mirror.