03 May Vasectomy VS. Tubal Ligation
We were proud parents of the two and through club. And to be honest, we were satisfied in the one and done club as well.
After our second blessing, we were trying to determine the best methods for contraceptive. We spoke with my Obstetrics and Gynecology (OBGYN) about our different options, and were seriously considering an IUD.
That was until we found out that because I worked for a Catholic organization, birth control would not be covered. I don’t remember if it was not covered fully or just partially covered. At any rate, we just didn’t have the money for that.
My husband was newly into his entrepreneurship journey, and paying thousands for an IUD just wasn’t going to work.
I know, many people will read this and think, it’s cheaper than having kids.
This is a fact.
But paying a lump sum of money that we didn’t have at the time, wasn’t cheap to us either.
Our other option was birth control, which was also not covered by our organization. Not only would the birth control not be fully covered, if any coverage at all, but birth control made me feel terribly sick every month.
The options for me were becoming fewer, so we decided to do our research on a vasectomy.
My husband was open to this option, and I was thankful to have his support.
This too was going to cost us, but we thought we’d save up some money and figure it out.
One year passed by.
And then a second year came and went.
The wonderful pull-out and My Days application were working well for us. We made sure to kept track of my fertile and ovulation days.
The conversations and research continued about a vasectomy, and we decided we’d choose the vasectomy over tubal ligation. Both seemed to be reversible, and the risk seemed to be similar. We decided, if anyone would have a procedure done, it would be my husband.
As time went on, we began to waver on this choice. We weren’t so sure vasectomy was the way to go, and we weren’t sure it’s what the Lord wanted for us.
One day some good friends of ours came into town and we were thankful for the opportunity to visit with them. The conversations were great and we were all enjoying one another.
Some how, the discussion changed to our thoughts about having more children.
We expressed our doubts, fears, worries and concerns.
Our friend then asked my husband the following questions:
You trust God with everything right?
You trust him your marriage?
Yes. Pretty much.
Then he hit my husband with,
why haven’t you trusted Him with your wife’s womb and how many children you guys have?
At this point my husband is like, Ok. End of visit. Y’all have to go home now!
He sat and thought about what he had just heard, as the topic of discussion came to an abrupt ending.
I didn’t think anything of it, because my husband isn’t easily persuaded. Usually when his mind is made up, there’s no changing it. I just knew he had decided against having more kids.
After much thought and conversation, from that day on, my husband and I decided to pray about our decision.
We asked God for His will to be done, and we agreed not to make any permanent decisions without being clear on God’s will.
How would we know what God says?
Most of the time, being on one accord about a situation, is great confirmation for us. If we are not on one accord, we know we need to keep praying. And usually, God changes one of our hearts.
Another way we get confirmation, is through wise counsel.
Most importantly, we have learned that before we seek any advice from people, we have to seek the Lord.
Before becoming pregnant with our third child, there were so many people who told us not to have anymore children because two was enough. They weren’t being mean, they really felt that we should leave well enough alone. Then there were others who encouraged us to keep going. If we didn’t ask God for discernment, we would be all jacked up!
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ~James 1:5
The choice is yours
Sometimes medical issues or concerns prevent us from having more children. Other times, life’s circumstances keep us from having more children. God may close the door, or you may just know that the answer is no.
Whatever the case may be I want to encourage you to trust God with EVERY area of your life. Seek Him before making lifelong decisions.
If we had not done so, we would be missing out on our precious gift of a third child. Our children would be missing out on having another sibling to love and care for. And, who knows what God’s desire is for the life He is forming within me.
“Make wise choices. Because your children don’t have a choice.” ~ The Teaching Wife